1. |
God's Shadow in the Cup
04:42
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God’s Shadow in the Cup
If the words that they have told you here, leave you empty leave you dry
Then though their words be wise and true, they are for you as lies
Drinking at their well now, you never shall fill up
for the Sun itself is brighter than God’s shadow in the cup
N dy ay N dy oh
All that you think are here, toss it to the wind
And be unto this world a child of life and learn to see again
And though you know not where you are, have none other as your guide
But be unto yourself a boat, a beacon and a light
And all this world could be your wisdom
Though it burn like fire, it will cleanse like rain
Until you find that lies within you
All the love you lost when you turned from the pain
I do not know these things you speak of
I have no boat, I have no skin
I am cold, oh so weary
I’m torn upon these rocks, I am floundering
Then all these things must be your wisdom
Though they burn like fire, they will cleanse like rain
Until you find that lies within you
All the love you lost when you turned from the pain
This is all I am now, breathing in and breathing out
This is all I have now, breath coming in and going out
And though all the world befriend me, still I am only this
Though all the world condemn me still, I am all of this
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2. |
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Bothering the Dead (part 1)
My mother traded in the lies, the stories and the mysteries she’d heard
She learned it from her mother how to bargain and carve up this world
Learned it from her mother who I guess learned it from hers
Now I got all these women sitting on my shoulders
My daddy was a sorcerer, he made the whole world disappear
I don’t know how he did it, but he hid it like he hid all his fears
He learned it from his daddy and so on back in time
Learned it from his daddy, just like I learned it from mine
And all these things become my eyes
All these things become my lies
Become my light, become my sight, become mine
I get it from my granddad, I like to spend my days in bed
Dreaming of whiskey and women and trying to forget
I said - granddad, won’t you tell me where it was you buried those guns?
You take me all around this cemetery but haven’t shown me one
I said - granddad won’t you tell me what it is we’re trying to forget?
He said - girl don’t you know better than to come around bothering the dead?
Satan was an emperor, specialized in women’s underclothing
Said - render unto Caesar - so we gave up all our fears and our self loathing
Nobody seemed to mind, was it a crime if nobody got hurt?
And if we got nothing for nothing, well at least then we knew what we were worth
And all these things become my eyes
All these things become my lies
Become my light, become my sight, become mine
Way back, there was a carpenter, he poured himself all into the wood
But the colour of truth didn’t take like they thought it should
The story was retold, he was bought and sold for what it said on the label
I guess you lose your taste for truth, when you’re dining at the emperor’s table
I came across an old man, he was staggering from the emperor’s table
They had just done a deal to turn the land into fields and the man could take all he was able
There was no talk of gold, no selling of souls, but the emperor had claimed her prize
And when she arose, she said “behold your new clothes
You’ll find I’ve taken the sight from your eyes”
And if that old man cried in his sleep that night, they were tears he couldn’t afford
All of his children needing him to clothe and to feed them and a bailiff banging at the door
And all these things become my eyes
All these things become my lies
Become my light, become my sight, become mine
My uncles they were astronauts, all floating out above their hearts
Above the beatings and betrayals, and all the lies that tear a boy apart
Way above this earth, way up where they said salvation could be won
They floated high, they floated free, up where they didn’t need to see
They were good and they were righteous, they were gone
And if children cried in their sleep at night for the life and the love that they had lost
Those who should have saved them from the beatings and the rapings, they were walking the stations of the cross
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3. |
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4. |
Night Flight
03:27
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5. |
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Bothering the Dead (part 2)
My Granny and the Virgin Mary were identical twins
Not even the lies of 2,000 years could separate them
My granny loved the virgin and my uncle loved her son
And if that seems a little strange to you, well now you know just where I get it from
I said “granny won’t you tell me about this war going on in my head?”
She said “listen to your granddad, don’t be comin’ round here bothering the dead
I said – “but granny . . .
I come from a long line of liars and murderers, sorcerers, astronauts too
Warmongers, witch burners, all saying the same things as you
Ecociders and genociders, I said granny how can it be
Slave drivers and child sodomizers all praying to the same God as me?
Coz just like I was taught, I prayed to the god of my mother and my forefathers
A God who could not save his children, a God who would betray his daughters”
I said “mothers won’t ye tell us why ye’re teaching our children these lies
They said “girl you don’t know nothing ‘til you’ve seen your son beaten and crucified”
So I followed them down to the foot of the cross all those who had gone out before me
My granny, my granddad, the whole damned lot all praying and trying to ignore me
I said Jesus I don’t mean to bother you, I can see you’re busy forgiving
But if you think this is the end of it, well you should know it’s just the beginning
Coz they’ll kill and they’ll lie, they’ll rape and they’ll torture
They’ll burn and they’ll bomb and they’ll maim
They’ll march and invade, they’ll steal and they’ll conquer
they’ll do it all in your name
They’ll forget what you said about the lilies in the field and they’ll forget about the sparrows in the sky
They’ll forget all about turning the other cheek – but, they’ll remember “an eye for an eye”
And I know it’s not your fault and I know you’re not to blame
And you probably can’t change any of this, but I guess now what I’m saying is
I don’t care if you can raise the dead or if you can walk on water
I don’t care if your mother was a virgin or who you think was your father
It’s just I’ve been raised to praise the dead, I’ve got no prayers for the living
And I’ve been drunk your blood and I’ve eaten your bread, still I’ve got no way of forgiving
So it seems to me that somebody somewhere forgot something important you said
And if you tell me what it is I’m looking to know, I won’t need to bother you after you’re dead”
Jesus said “I don’t care what you believe or if you believe in me
I don’t care that you share the emperor’s taste in women’s lingerie
Now I could take you where you want to go, I could show you what you’re looking to see
But I don’t see how you could believe in any of it, if you didn’t believe in me”
I said “Jesus you might have a point there, but since I’ve been raised with religion
I have a natural blindspot for hypocrisy and contradictions
Yeah - I get it from my daddy, you can’t argue with me
So you might as well come down off that cross and show me what I’m looking to see”
Jesus smiled and said “that’s not how it works, not for you and not for me”
And the next thing I knew I was stretched on a cross and I was screaming in agony ….
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6. |
The Queen of Hearts
04:01
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The Queen of Hearts
I am the Queen of Hearts, I reign in the dark
Over all that moves unseen, I rule supreme
I haunt your dreams
I am the force of sight, I come in the night
I burn long and I burn harsh - I burn bright
I am the light
Here I am again, yeah here I am again
Here I am again, here I am again
Going down, where the force of my reason don’t hold
Down where the lights of this world hurt my soul
Spinning round and around and around
‘Til I am lost, I am out of control
I’ve been here before, I built the walls, I laid the floor
I locked the door, I said “no more”, but now
Here I am again, yeah here I am again
Going down with the shards of my wings by my side
Down, where there is no beacon, no light
Down, with only my breath as my guide
Yeah I know this hell, I know it well
Every cell I have built from my own mind
Only to find, that
Here I am again, here I am again
Going down, through the terror that I could not know
Down, through the places where love cannot flow
Down, to be lost, to be found in my soul
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7. |
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Bothering the Dead (part 3)
And then she came, in the middle of the night, she came naked as the day she was born
And I knew her, by the twinkle in her eye and the way she held me in her arms
And behind her was a long line of women, each one so proud of the one that came before her
Oh I knew them, I knew them well, these were the women who’d been hanging on my shoulders
I said - Mothers, oh Grandmothers, I don’t know how this got so serious
I was just doing what you told me and the next thing I was hanging from this cross
Now here I am, I’m cold and desperate, I am struggling to take another breath
And if you don’t get me off this cross here, well soon I’ll be with ye hanging with the dead
They said - Daughter, oh Granddaughter, you didn’t listen to a single word we said
Didn’t we tell you, didn’t we warn you, not to come around here bothering the dead?
Now here you are, threatening to visit, your granddad says it’s more than he could bear
So I suppose we’re going to have to help you, but first you must change out of those clothes you wear
I said - Mothers, ye do torment me, with such talk of trivialities
If I’m to die upon this cross here, well at least I will die wearing what I please
And anyway, beloved mothers, was it so terrible, was it so wrong?
To be doing what I do here, I was just following the promise of a song
They said - Daughter, oh errant Daughter, you know you were your mother’s cross to bear
It’s no wonder she tried to shoot you, and your daddy tried to kill you with a chair!
Now for once, shut up and listen, listen with your heart and not your head
You know that’s all you ever really needed – you had no call to come bothering the dead
I said- Mothers, how unchristian, can we not all just get along?
If my character it displease ye, well I’m sure ye know just where I get it from!
Now I am cold, I am dying, I am hungry, I am tired, I am lost
Would ye not talk to ye’re sons now, and tell them get me off this shagging cross
They said - Daughter, we are so touched here, we never knew you had such faith in us
But you see, you are mistaken, you misunderstand the nature of your cross
Though you be good, though you be righteous, while you wear the sorcerer’s clothes
You will go cold, you will go blind here, for there was no love in the bargain that you chose
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8. |
Blind (without love)
05:19
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Blind
Yeah though a man he have the faith to move mountains
But have not love, He have nothing
And though she crawl across the desert on her knees repenting
If she have not love, she have nothing, she have nothing
She is blind, she cannot see, she is blind, she does not see
She does not see how these walls that she builds round her heart
They fall in around her now
And all the love that she seeks, cannot reach, cannot touch her
For she is bound
By all that she hides, by all that she denies, by all that she will not name
For what is not brought to the light will destroy her for it binds like the strongest of chains
And she is blind, she does not see, how love might set her free
And yeah though he sings with the voice of the angels
But have not love, he have nothing
And who would preach a gospel of hellfire and condemnation
They have not love, they are blind
They are blind they cannot see, they are blind and they, they do not see
How all that they believe and all that they cling to
All they would try to control
How in the end, none of these things shall serve them
For they cost them the light of their soul
And what profit a man who would gain the whole world for a bargain,
a promise as this?
Now he wander lost, alone and confused for he does not know that he is
He is blind, he cannot see, how love might set him free
Who would strike at another in anger and hatred
Must first go to war in their hearts
And She who is love, and He who is awakened, says -
Forgive them, they know not who they are
Forgive us, we were blind and we did not see
Tuam babies' names . .. .
Maith dúinn, bhíomar dall, is ní fhacama, ní fhacamar
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9. |
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Bothering the Dead (part four)
Then I fell through the floor of all that I was, the stories, the hurts and the lies
Down past the secrets of all my ancestors, their bargains and their self sacrifice
I fell past my granny, my granddad and all those who had gone out before them
As I passed them I saw their hearts stricken and raw, alone with no one to console them
On and on I fell past the bishops and priests, past their holy wells and their holy Marys
The unwanted looks, the unwanted touch, the unwanted women and babies
I fell past all those whose desires ran like mine, but in times when such love was condemned
And all of their lives they never could share or speak of what they held within
Then I came to my uncles, beaten and drowning, struggling to take their last breaths
And I watched with my granny, we were helpless before so much we’d been trying to forget
Yeah I tumbled and fell through my own private hell - full of sorcerers, murderers, liars
We were all doing deals, finding ways not to feel, and teaching each other to fly
Again and again, we were holding it in, the fear, the desire, the self loathing
My mother a child, just wanting to sing, my daddy just wanting somebody to hold him
Then I found myself back where all bargains are made – back at the emperor’s table
There I was again, a child promising to be good to be righteous and faithful
I was making a deal, refusing to feel the terror, the shame, the self loathing
I remembered it then, the panic and when I had traded my body for clothing
There was no talk of gold, no selling of souls, but my clothes fitted me to perfection
I was righteous and proud, no one could touch me now, in my cloak of judgment and rejection
And I stood with my daddy, my granddad and all those who had answered that call
I stood there at the altar, the sorcerer’s daughter, who had learned to feel nothing at all
Well I looked at the emperor and she looked at me – I said “how can this debt be forgiven?”
She said “the sorceror’s daughter must forget what he taught her, and remember the dead to the living”
Then the emperor stood and I remembered the wood and saw I’d mistook the truth for a label
I said “cut out my eyes, they are swollen with lies, I’m not worthy to sit at your table”
Then the stories and lies all fell from my eyes and for a moment I found I could see
The emperor smiled, she said “it’s been a while – or have you forgotten me?”
Then she stretched out her hands and she showed me the land, and the place where the nails had been driven,
She said “these are the stakes that stand between you and your place in the land of the living”
And all these things
Become your eyes, become your lies
Become your light, become your sight
Become yours
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10. |
Faultlines
04:26
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Faultlines
When all the world around me leaves me empty
All the colours here yet I am blind
The beauty of this place it does not reach me
Here inside the faultlines of my mind
I thought I was a sailor on the water
Always dreaming of some distant shore
But now I see this moment be my altar
Upon which must burn all thoughts of boats and oars
I can no longer navigate by reason
I do not trust it knows this course it charts
And deep within a voice it cries out “treason”
And I turn now towards the beacon of my heart
Who will love me now I am on fire here?
Who will touch me now I have no skin?
I’m torn upon the rocks of all I cling to
By all I once believed I am condemned
Give me strength that I might not turn from this moment
Courage to stand firm in this place
And wait here ‘til the doors now closed be opened
And every step I take I take in grace
See now how the road goes on forever
See now how this journey never ends
It is not ours to lay claim to the weather
But to bow before it all and say “Amen”
Amen
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11. |
This is Desire
05:01
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This is Desire
Wanna know now what you dream of, when you wake in the night
You say you want peace, but you don’t say what it is you fight
Wanna know now if the ocean comes to call you to pray
Does it ask you to rise with the wind and call out those dreams you’ve betrayed?
And tell me do you go then, to know again the fire
To be raised by the wind and lifted on the wings of desire
Wanna tell you that the ocean, it is not as it seems
We are not our thoughts nor are we the players in those scenes
And all these they told us, were just stories and lies
It is not like what they said at all, we are soul in this guise
And there are none of us not called here, none untouched by the flame
We were born, we were formed, we were scored to be praising her name
Just to sing mama, just to sing mama, just to sing
Coz we were never angels, we are not of that fire
But as we are of God, we cannot be unworthy of the choir
So tell me can you hear it, the voice deep inside
That whispers though all the world may desert you, still you are the light
Still you are the truth here, still you are the way
Still you, only you, can be true to this part that you play
So tell me will you go now, will you answer that call
To be unto all that rise within you, to be unto it all?
To be only this, just to be all this, all of this
Coz we were never angels, we are not meant to be
Beyond the cares in our hearts and the ways that they see
We are soul mama, we are soul, we are fire
And the wings of our dreams, they were forged in the coals of desire
Only desire mama, Holy desire mama, This is desire
I’m on fire Mama, I’m on fire Mama . . . . I’m on Fire
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12. |
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13. |
We are Love
03:12
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Her Name is Love
There is only one way
And there is only one church
There is but one true God
And Her Name is Love
So not in my name, these wars that you fight
Not in my name, these wrongs and these rights
These are not my ways not my laws, not my words not my cause
No, my way is love
So let there be no words but these
What you do unto those, you do unto me
I am the way, the truth
And the light and I
I am love
See how the light it shines always
Though it seems only dark clouds fill your days
Still through it all, the light of love it shines on
Shines on and on
So let there be no doubts, no fears
There is no other way, there is no one else here
We are the way, the truth and the light and we
We are Love
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14. |
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15. |
I am the Way
04:25
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I Am the Way
Shall I tell you how it is to be standing here
To be standing right here with you, right here right now
Here where my thoughts arise, here where my soul abides
Here where my spirit rise and soars on through it all
Feels like love rising inside me
Feels like light filling my days
Feels like all life come to guide me
To find and remind me, I am the way
Shall I tell you, how it is in the morning time
Boughs whistle in the warm sunshine, and I am alive
Here where I am flesh and blood, and all that arise is loved
Here where my spirit burns and cries out that I am
I am love rising inside you
I am light filling your days
I am all life come to guide you
To find and remind you, you are the way
I have no song but the song of my mothers
I have no voice but the voice of all things
Here I am, standing proud by their shoulders
Knowing all that I know here is that I am
In my every breath, I am one with the forest
In my every song, I am one with the wind
See now how all things be my wisdom
And I find within them
The love that I am
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